HCB Ch. 74 - Is There Anyone More Ridiculous Than You?
Ch. 74 - Is There Anyone More Ridiculous Than You?
The two quickly boarded the train headed to the Capital City. The full journey would take around eight hours. By evening, they'd be able to arrive.Around noon, Zhang Dali rubbed his stomach. "Hey, Chen Pi, did you bring any food?"
"No, aren't you the chef? Didn't you bring any?" Chen Shu's eyes widened as he noticed something. "Wait, why is your bag so bulky?"
He flipped open Zhang Dali's backpack, and his expression immediately froze in disbelief. "You actually brought pots and pans and the whole damn kitchen?!"
A clattering racket rang out, and passengers throughout the car turned to look.
Zhang Dali carefully retrieved them with a treasured expression. "I'm a chef. If I don't bring these, what should I bring?"
Chen Shu rubbed his forehead. "Is there anyone more ridiculous than you?"
"Of course there is!" Zhang Dali nodded seriously.
The other passengers all looked over with curious expressions.
Then they watched as Zhang Dali pulled out a fertilizer bag from Chen Shu's backpack...
"Holy crap, you're revealing my secret weapon?" Chen Shu immediately stuffed it back in. "I'm a Beast Tamer, of course I need to bring this!"
The whole car was left completely baffled...
What the hell were these two here to do?
Fortunately, the train served lunch, and after eating, Zhang Dali started dozing off.
"Looks like I won't encounter any options today," Chen Shu yawned. Another important reason he'd bought train tickets was hoping to trigger some options, but since he hadn't encountered any, he also started his afternoon nap.
"The train will soon arrive at Beili City... @#￥%BeiLi@#..."
"Someone took my bag! Someone took my bag! Help me stop him!!" a woman's shout rang out.
Chen Shu had been resting with his eyes closed, but the moment he heard the sound, he woke up. Instantly, options appeared before his eyes.
[Option 1: Stop the criminal]
Reward: Medium Beast Taming Power boost
[Option 2: Keep sleeping and ignore it]
Reward: Basic Burst Speed Potion
Chen Shu perked up as he immediately made his choice.
A man was constantly pushing past the passengers ahead, trying to escape from the train one step earlier.
"Are you stupid? Even if you grab the bag, you can't get out of the train station," Chen Shu shook his head, and without hesitation, he directly pulled out the fertilizer bag from his backpack.
The man was running frantically when suddenly he felt darkness descend over him.
"Who?! Who is it?!"
The man struggled wildly, throwing punches and kicks.
Bang!
A crisp sound rang out, and the man immediately passed out.
"Nice coordination!"
At that moment, Zhang Dali stood holding an iron pot—clearly the "weapon" that had caused the man to faint.
Their seamless teamwork stunned everyone.
They'd originally thought these two were just a couple of clowns, but who knew they were hiding their true abilities!
The plain fertilizer bag and iron pot turned out to be so vicious!
Soon after, the train police arrived, thanked the two, and took the man away.
But the look in their eyes before leaving seemed a bit strange...
"Standard operation, standard operation!"[1]
Seeing the other passengers looking over with worship in their eyes, Chen Shu cupped his fists in response.
"Huh? It's you two?"
Suddenly, a pretty girl said in surprise.
Chen Shu looked her over, then spoke. "Although my charm is stunning, please don't use this kind of cliché pickup method."
Zhang Dali's eyes widened as he remembered something, and he pulled at Chen Shu, saying in a low voice, "It's that person who borrowed from loan sharks."
"Hm? Someone borrowed my loan sharks? I don't remember that."
Chen Shu still looked confused, with no recollection at all.
Zhang Dali reminded him again. "The one where you got close, then covered your eyes and said 'I didn't see, I didn't see'..."
"Ohhhh~~~" Chen Shu had a sudden realization and finally remembered, "So this is what you look like!"
"You don't remember me?"
Wang Qinghan's eyes widened. She hadn't expected the other party to have no impression whatsoever.
Chen Shu explained emphatically, "I already said I didn't see, so naturally I didn't see!"
Wang Qinghan huffed. "You two are so tall and sturdy, yet you just walked away back then."
Chen Shu blinked. "Repaying debts is only natural and right. We couldn't interfere!"
"...But that was loan sharks."
"You still borrowed it yourself," Chen Shu retorted confidently—besides, the system's Violent Sitting Kill reward had been way too good...
Wang Qinghan didn't say more. It was their duty not to help her, their kindness if they did.
The two didn't even know each other, so naturally there was no kindness to speak of.
Wang Qinghan asked, "By the way, are you two going to the Capital City?"
Zhang Dali put away his iron pot and answered, "Yeah, I'm going to take the Spirit Chef University exam."
"No wonder you're so well-prepared!" Wang Qinghan smiled.
Chen Shu suddenly remembered something and said with a guarded expression, "Don't tell me you're going to the Capital City to escape debts?"
Wang Qinghan said, "I've already paid off the debt!"
"Then what are you going to the Capital City for? You even left your sister behind."
Wang Qinghan clearly didn't want to say much and stammered, "I... I'm traveling."
"Better not drag us into trouble."
The three chatted along the way, gradually growing closer and gaining a basic understanding of each other.
By evening, they arrived at Capital City East Station.
Following the bustling crowd, the three left the train station.
"Until we meet again. Farewell!"[2]
Chen Shu cupped his fists and directly prepared to part ways with Wang Qinghan.
"Sharing a cab would be cheaper." Zhang Dali said quietly beside him.
Chen Shu lowered his head and said, "Are you stupid? Who knows if she's escaping debts? What if she drags us into trouble."
"Goodbye!"
The two grabbed their bags and turned to leave.
"Check out those legs!"[3] a sharp voice rang out.
"Where? Where are the legs?" The two turned around to look, searching for the target.
In that instant, a figure appeared behind them.
Chen Shu was immediately kicked and stumbled, nearly falling.
"What the—! There's an attacker!"
Chen Shu couldn't help but shout loudly. Who dared to be so brazen as to kick him in public?
Did they really think a mighty dragon couldn't suppress a local snake?
Before he'd even finished shouting, the back of his head received a smack.
Chen Shu's expression turned angry. "I'm warning you, you're messing with the Nanjiang Bandit..."
Smack!
"Nanjiang Bandit, huh." Another strike landed.
"Hey, too far, too far."
Smack!
"Too far, huh!"
"Zhang Dali..."
Smack!
"Zhang Dali, huh!"
"Sister Fang Si, I was wrong..."
Chen Shu held his head with both hands, finally beaten into submission.
A girl with refreshing short hair stood with her arms crossed, a joyful smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"Little brother, now you know you were wrong? Weren't you pretty bold online?"
[1] "Standard operation" (基本操作): Gaming slang popularized by Chinese streamers, often said as "Don't panic, standard operation, everyone sit down." Chen Shu uses it as a humblebrag—implying that taking down a criminal with a fertilizer bag and frying pan is just routine for a "pro" like him.
[2] "Until we meet again" (山水有相逢): A poetic idiom meaning "mountains and rivers will meet eventually"—an elegant, cultured farewell. The comedy lies in Chen Shu using this high-class phrase right before cheaply ditching Wang Qinghan to avoid sharing cab fare.
[3] "Check out those legs!" (看腿): A thirst trap distraction tactic. Fang Si exploits Chen Shu's shameless pervert reputation—she knows he'd instantly turn his head at the promise of seeing a hot girl's legs, making it the perfect bait for her ambush.